when i was
a young boy
my father
took me into the citayy
to seee a marching band
he said
listen here u lil shit
let me explain you a thing
i’m the real slim shady
(via d-ead-cat)
do all american high school parties actually have those red plastic cups or is this a lie created by the movies
This has had like 65,000 notes and NO-ONE has answered
Sometimes I watch movies with my cat
I don’t even own a cat:(
In grade 8 I really hated this girl so I collected the sugar from my pack of sour patch kids and gave it to her saying its cocaine and she actually snorted it and at recess she pretended she was high and she was called crack whore for the rest of the year. Now she does real crack and blames me saying I got her addicted. She still doesnt know it was just sugar
(via freshsecrets)
has a boy ever even looked at me im not sure
I’m a boy, and I look at lots of things. I saw a dolphin once. :)
if i was a dolphin this would mean a lot
(via freshsecrets)
mitt romney has a crush on obama pass it on
Mitt Romney has a crush on a llama, pass it on.
Mitt Romney once crushed a llama, pass it on.
Mitt Romney wants Bush to samba, pass it on.
Mitt Romney gave birth to Osama, pass it on.
how the media works
(Source: e102gamma, via freshsecrets)
| Nurse: | "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable." |
| Me: | "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he." |
| Nurse: | "So he's your...." |
| Me: | "Friend." |
| Nurse: | (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?" |
| Me: | "11." |
| Nurse: | "How old were you when you first became sexually active?" |
| Me: | "....Loaded question but....14, I guess." |
| Nurse: | "You're sexually active, then." |
| Me: | "Well....I guess...but..." |
| Nurse: | "How many times have you been pregnant?" |
| Me: | "Uh. 0." |
| Nurse: | "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-" |
| Me: | "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control." |
| Nurse: | "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?" |
| Me: | "With homosexuality." |
| Nurse: | |
| Me: | |
| Nurse: | |
| Me: | "I fuck girls." |
I honestly fucking hate getting secondhand embarrassment from a character in movies and books
and i’m just sitting there like
omg why did you do that
why
there will never be a more accurate post that relates to my life like this one
(via freshsecrets)
#and this is after sansa has confirmed joffrey’s monstrosity #so margaery is playing him like an actual fiddle #and she knows exactly what to do #maybe she’s always known #joffrey isn’t shy about his issues #from the way she’s seen him treat his own mother #and the rumors #she knows exactly what to do to get joffrey #and i love her for it #margaery tyrell #joffrey is such a little shit
(Source: gameofthronesdaily, via agayofgays)
Whoa whoa guys I just had a thought
You know how the Powerpuff Girls get their superpowers from Chemical X
X
as in the X chromosome
Their superpower is literally girl power
(via oswins-snogbox)
